HERE to read the excerpt of this story.
This is about my Fiction Friday piece - Fiction Friday is a feature I made up for this blog to ENSURE I am practising fantasy writing! (I often forget. I wrote this last week Friday and I even forgot to POST it). It also enabled me to explore the dozens of ideas I think of but never use, as I'm usually always writing a longer work.
It is ALSO to get back into the habit of doing what I say I will and keeping my promises, and during the worst parts of my depression I hated being controlled by me emotions. I'm putting myself back in control again. I was a tired as HELL yesterday, need to take a 5 min rest before I finished typing it up, but you can be damn sure I did it!
Another Google Ims. discovery.
Why do I always end up posting this late? And - why do I always end up not being able to cmplete it fully before I post? Argh.
As I only just typed up the notes I hastily scribbled on Monday, I don't feel like the characters have been done any justice, or that anyone can properly understand what's happening from thi particular extract.
I definitely did not make Whitney cute enough. She's supposed to be ADORABLE.
Because this segment was posted on its own and separate from the rest of the story, I changed things I really shouldn't have. It was so fun to make Amy use her powers on Dewey twice, but in the original scene she doesn't do any of this. She is a mother-figure to Dewey and doesn't really mess about with him in that way, plus he was telling her about an unprovoked attack which should have shocked all of them more than I actually show. She would be too deep in thought and too concerned about Whitney's welfare to think, 'Oh, let me put baked beans on my brother's head.'
I don't know what to do about that. I don't want to take it out, and yet, it doesn't fit in there.
Improvements (If I were to rewrite/add to this, I would...)
- Again, I didn't do enough descriptions, especially of Dewey.
- Also not enough unique characterisation in this piece, particularly in their actions.
- Did not spend enough time in general crafting this.
Ashana Lian .
P.S. Fiction Friday? So far so good!